Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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