just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
