I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
