You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
