didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
