theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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