I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
