Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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