i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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