nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
