I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
