The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
