Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
