Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
