dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
