i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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