Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
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I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
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I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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