Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
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