Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
