i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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