I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
