So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
