Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize