loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
