Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
