at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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