You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Who wears a wallet chain?!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
