I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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