It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
