I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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