did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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