i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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