I skipped work to stalk him.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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