Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
