Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
