So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well I just put wine in my tea
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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