So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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