Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
