i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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