We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
they need to just BURY HIM!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
