I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
