I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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