i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
