My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
