Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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