I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
