sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
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tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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