The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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