she looked like the before picture.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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