He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
