happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
