Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
