Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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