Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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