Kiss
Puke
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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