How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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