my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
