ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Randomize
