She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
