Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the day after is always just damage control
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
