hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
