I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
