All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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