then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
