Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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