Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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