God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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