no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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