some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I wish there were birth control emojis
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
