Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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