it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
